Shrug

by Sister Exister

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1.
Hey, don't throw that meat away I'm not afraid don't throw that meat away Sell-by date's the 15th, today's the 21st But I don't see no fuzz on it and I've smelled worse This chicken gave its little life that we might dine From the garbage to the peanut oil, let's get that sucker fryin' This ground beef looks like something that the cat left on the bed But you hate to see it go to waste, let's saute it instead Sausage from last New Year's Eve, a prehistoric steak But I'd rather if my stomach hurt than let my poor heart break In the back of your refrigerator, behind some cottage cheese Pork packed months ago or later, serve it to me please We can go on like this together with suspicious meats It beats being cautious, it beats eating beets Hey, don't throw that meat away I'm not afraid Don't throw that meat away I'll be fine, my stomach is cast iron I'll be okay Hey, don't throw that meat away
2.
Why You 03:20
3.
Best Friend 02:19
If I was your best friend you could call me anytime and complain about that girl who won't call back... And if the fifteen fitted shirts in your fitting room don't fit, I'll go back and grab the sixteenth off the rack... If I was your best friend... Every movie night I would defer to your good taste in terms of genre, time and place and popcorn size... And if it was your favorite ever movie of all time and I hated it, I wouldn't criticize... If I was your best friend... And what you really craved to eat was boiled shrimp and crawfish we could go out for it anytime of day... I wouldn't be selfish about my allergy to shellfish, I'd just take my Benadryl and be OK... If I was your best friend... If I was your best friend we'd save money on the water bill by taking baths together every night... I'd fit into your shoes, we'd get matching tattoos and develop a secret language (kinda like identical twins)... If I was your best friend... I'm your new best friend!
4.
Not My Man 02:28
Say you love me, say you've had a few I watch your lips & weigh each word You whisper, I get close to you My hearing's good, your speech is slurred Words can make or break me they can send or soar or sell me sir, your sentence is: take me, but I'm not no holy grail so you can get down on one knee or two talk until your face turns blue be charming, sweet, please be funny read me poems you wrote or you can sing to wow and woo me, you can write it in the sand, but if you don't listen to me too you're not my man. Wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa talk, talk, talk, tell, tell, tell, tell blah, blah, blah, blah, yaddy yadda email, email, email, email. A mail, E mail, I mail, O mail, and sometimes I wonder why mail when I can't get through, do you males read your emails from your females? Did you even see the words? I stayed up late to give them wings. Or did they fly right by, a blur? Did you hear your cell phone ring? It takes two to talk my friend so hold your tongue and take my hand and if you cut me off again you're not my man.
5.
I'd rather be in the butter drawer Than to sit in your church even one time more. Your cemetery's no place for me. I won't have no soul when I cease to be. So when I die don't bury me, Brother Just place me down in butter. Don't close my lids, don't clean my cupboards. Never had no kids, ain't got no lovers. When I die don't cremate me. You won't rue the day you make roux of me. Don't wanna be just ashes in an urn. Cut me up into the butter and just keep stirring. When I die don't bury me at sea. Just sprinkle cracked corn all over me. Put sunflower seeds at my head and feet. Tell all them chickens it's time to eat. It's a beautiful world with a big blue sky And the sun and the moon go flying by Some of the stars we see ain't stars no more Just a speck of sweet cream in the butter drawer.
6.
Shrug 02:22
You roll your "r's" but not your eyes, Your ennui is a disguise, You're not like all those other dykes, You shrug. Swimming in your undertow, Endeavoring to drink you so, But you're too hot and so I blow, You shrug. ***Mis-matched and bow-tied, I don't wanna know (I want to) Jerry-curled and deep-fried, I don't wanna know (I want to)... We are we two so through and through, And underneath and over too, You know I'm so wrapped up in you And you shrug.
7.
Joy Road 03:05
8.
We were tired, Didn't feel like asking questions Of our dear new landladies. We just drove in From somewhere in East Texas And all we needed was the key. So we shooed them out their own front door And promised we would call when we were ready For some tea and company. But as we explored our new sublet We found something on display that Struck us most curiously... Oh, Canadian flag, Why are you here? Inexplicable Canadian flag. We're 'bout as far from there as you can get And still be in the U.S. (speaking purely contiguously...) Canadian flag. (I should probably mention that both of these women were born in, raised in, and were lifelong residents of the state of Louisiana.) The months flew by And the flag was never mentioned Though they would visit us weekly. Each Sunday night As we bluffed and called and raised them The maple leaf watched us all inscrutably. When they yawned and stood to count their losses It always occurred to at least one of us To inquire finally. But we both decided in the end, We're better off not knowing and So we still wonder honestly... Oh, Canadian flag Why are you here?
9.
New Day 01:56
It's a new day, it's a driving rain I'm gonna have anal surgery! It's gonna be okay, gonna feel no pain and if I do it will be good for me In the bathtub, gotta get clean Gotta decide what to wear Out of the bathtub, gotta brush my teeth pluck my chin and do my hair Cause it's a new day, and I can't explain why my optimism's burgeoning but I'm on my way on a BART train to have my anal surgery I waited all week just to be seen The pain was barely bearable Hard to believe, kinda seems mean My health plan's really terrible But it's a new day, it's a driving rain I'm gonna have anal surgery It's gonna be okay, gonna feel no pain and if I do it will be good for me
10.
11.
My friend Ray and me drove across upstate New York Eating hot wings and bowling at nights in bars. When we got to Ohio, he started to date my sister. He helped her to write, she taught him to work on cars. Oatmeal with blueberries, chopped walnuts and brown sugar, For breakfast, we'll eat healthy everyday. Then fried chicken, fried oysters, french fries, roast beef po boys, crawfish, boudin balls, cochon de lait... My friend Jeff from Texas wanted to do stand-up So he wrote a 9-11 knock-knock joke: "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "9-11." "9-11 who?" "Oh man, you guys you said you'd never forget." Oatmeal with blueberries, chopped walnuts and brown sugar, For breakfast, we'll eat healthy everyday. Then fried chicken, fried oysters, french fries, roast beef po boys, crawfish, boudin balls, cochon de lait...
12.
Sunset looks best during natural disasters, It wasn't a test but anyway I asked her Where did she come from before she came here? She said she came from Boston but it had been years. I said, "I used to live there. Not really, but kinda." She said, "Yeah. I knew you. And you were always trying to get people dancing at Big Dipper shows. Out on the dance floor you'd twirl alone." I said, "Why didn't you join me?" She said, "I had a boyfriend." I said, "So what? Would he think you were a lesbian?" "Well you were a boy then." "Not really," I said, "but kinda. It sucks how your past keeps sneaking up behind you." She said, "Your future's much worse, girl, 'cause it sneaks up faster. Doesn't sunset look pretty during natural disasters?" "Uh-huh."

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released February 22, 2016

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