1. |
Suspicious Meats
03:29
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Hey, don't throw that meat away
I'm not afraid
don't throw that meat away
Sell-by date's the 15th, today's the 21st
But I don't see no fuzz on it and I've smelled worse
This chicken gave its little life that we might dine
From the garbage to the peanut oil, let's get that sucker fryin'
This ground beef looks like something that the cat left on the bed
But you hate to see it go to waste, let's saute it instead
Sausage from last New Year's Eve, a prehistoric steak
But I'd rather if my stomach hurt than let my poor heart break
In the back of your refrigerator, behind some cottage cheese
Pork packed months ago or later, serve it to me please
We can go on like this together with suspicious meats
It beats being cautious, it beats eating beets
Hey, don't throw that meat away
I'm not afraid
Don't throw that meat away
I'll be fine, my stomach is cast iron
I'll be okay
Hey, don't throw that meat away
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2. |
Why You
03:20
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3. |
Best Friend
02:19
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If I was your best friend you could call me anytime and complain about that girl who won't call back...
And if the fifteen fitted shirts in your fitting room don't fit, I'll go back and grab the sixteenth off the rack...
If I was your best friend...
Every movie night I would defer to your good taste in terms of genre, time and place and popcorn size...
And if it was your favorite ever movie of all time and I hated it, I wouldn't criticize...
If I was your best friend...
And what you really craved to eat was boiled shrimp and crawfish we could go out for it anytime of day...
I wouldn't be selfish about my allergy to shellfish, I'd just take my Benadryl and be OK...
If I was your best friend...
If I was your best friend we'd save money on the water bill by taking baths together every night...
I'd fit into your shoes, we'd get matching tattoos and develop a secret language (kinda like identical twins)...
If I was your best friend...
I'm your new best friend!
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4. |
Not My Man
02:28
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Say you love me, say you've had a few
I watch your lips & weigh each word
You whisper, I get close to you
My hearing's good, your speech is slurred
Words can make or break me
they can send or soar or sell me sir,
your sentence is: take me,
but I'm not no holy grail so you can
get down on one knee or two
talk until your face turns blue
be charming, sweet, please be funny
read me poems you wrote or you
can sing to wow and woo me,
you can write it in the sand,
but if you don't listen to me too
you're not my man.
Wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa
talk, talk, talk, tell, tell, tell, tell
blah, blah, blah, blah, yaddy yadda
email, email, email, email.
A mail, E mail, I mail, O mail,
and sometimes I wonder why mail
when I can't get through, do you males
read your emails from your females?
Did you even see the words?
I stayed up late to give them wings.
Or did they fly right by, a blur?
Did you hear your cell phone ring?
It takes two to talk my friend
so hold your tongue and take my hand
and if you cut me off again
you're not my man.
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5. |
Butter Drawer
02:57
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I'd rather be in the butter drawer
Than to sit in your church even one time more.
Your cemetery's no place for me.
I won't have no soul when I cease to be.
So when I die don't bury me, Brother
Just place me down in butter.
Don't close my lids, don't clean my cupboards.
Never had no kids, ain't got no lovers.
When I die don't cremate me.
You won't rue the day you make roux of me.
Don't wanna be just ashes in an urn.
Cut me up into the butter and just keep stirring.
When I die don't bury me at sea.
Just sprinkle cracked corn all over me.
Put sunflower seeds at my head and feet.
Tell all them chickens it's time to eat.
It's a beautiful world with a big blue sky
And the sun and the moon go flying by
Some of the stars we see ain't stars no more
Just a speck of sweet cream in the butter drawer.
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6. |
Shrug
02:22
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You roll your "r's" but not your eyes,
Your ennui is a disguise,
You're not like all those other dykes,
You shrug.
Swimming in your undertow,
Endeavoring to drink you so,
But you're too hot and so I blow,
You shrug.
***Mis-matched and bow-tied,
I don't wanna know (I want to)
Jerry-curled and deep-fried,
I don't wanna know (I want to)...
We are we two so through and through,
And underneath and over too,
You know I'm so wrapped up in you
And you shrug.
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7. |
Joy Road
03:05
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8. |
New Orleans Sublet Song
04:37
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We were tired,
Didn't feel like asking questions
Of our dear new landladies.
We just drove in
From somewhere in East Texas
And all we needed was the key.
So we shooed them out their own front door
And promised we would call when we were ready
For some tea and company.
But as we explored our new sublet
We found something on display that
Struck us most curiously...
Oh, Canadian flag,
Why are you here?
Inexplicable Canadian flag.
We're 'bout as far from there as you can get
And still be in the U.S.
(speaking purely contiguously...)
Canadian flag.
(I should probably mention that both of these women were born in, raised in, and were lifelong residents of the state of Louisiana.)
The months flew by
And the flag was never mentioned
Though they would visit us weekly.
Each Sunday night
As we bluffed and called and raised them
The maple leaf watched us all inscrutably.
When they yawned and stood to count their losses
It always occurred to at least one of us
To inquire finally.
But we both decided in the end,
We're better off not knowing and
So we still wonder honestly...
Oh, Canadian flag
Why are you here?
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9. |
New Day
01:56
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It's a new day, it's a driving rain
I'm gonna have anal surgery!
It's gonna be okay, gonna feel no pain
and if I do it will be good for me
In the bathtub, gotta get clean
Gotta decide what to wear
Out of the bathtub, gotta brush my teeth
pluck my chin and do my hair
Cause it's a new day, and I can't explain
why my optimism's burgeoning
but I'm on my way on a BART train
to have my anal surgery
I waited all week just to be seen
The pain was barely bearable
Hard to believe, kinda seems mean
My health plan's really terrible
But it's a new day, it's a driving rain
I'm gonna have anal surgery
It's gonna be okay, gonna feel no pain
and if I do it will be good for me
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10. |
When You Come Home
02:12
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11. |
Men In Our Lives
03:51
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My friend Ray and me drove across upstate New York
Eating hot wings and bowling at nights in bars.
When we got to Ohio, he started to date my sister.
He helped her to write, she taught him to work on cars.
Oatmeal with blueberries, chopped walnuts and brown sugar,
For breakfast, we'll eat healthy everyday.
Then fried chicken, fried oysters, french fries, roast beef po boys, crawfish, boudin balls, cochon de lait...
My friend Jeff from Texas wanted to do stand-up
So he wrote a 9-11 knock-knock joke:
"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "9-11." "9-11 who?"
"Oh man, you guys you said you'd never forget."
Oatmeal with blueberries, chopped walnuts and brown sugar,
For breakfast, we'll eat healthy everyday.
Then fried chicken, fried oysters, french fries, roast beef po boys, crawfish, boudin balls, cochon de lait...
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12. |
Natural Disasters
03:25
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Sunset looks best during natural disasters,
It wasn't a test but anyway I asked her
Where did she come from before she came here?
She said she came from Boston but it had been years.
I said, "I used to live there. Not really, but kinda."
She said, "Yeah. I knew you. And you were always trying to
get people dancing at Big Dipper shows. Out on the dance floor you'd twirl alone."
I said, "Why didn't you join me?"
She said, "I had a boyfriend."
I said, "So what? Would he think you were a lesbian?"
"Well you were a boy then."
"Not really," I said, "but kinda. It sucks how your past keeps sneaking up behind you."
She said, "Your future's much worse, girl, 'cause it sneaks up faster. Doesn't sunset look pretty during natural disasters?"
"Uh-huh."
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